Make life better

You don’t have to downshift or change careeer or make huge changes to improve your life – small changes can bring big rewards. Here is another thought on how to improve life and start living more….

Tolerating the intolerable!

How long are you going to put up with all those little things that drive you mad?

How many times in the past few months have you done something that you haven’t wanted to do;  gone somewhere that you have haven’t wanted to go to; or even  spent time with people that you don’t really have much in common with or whose company you don’t really enjoy?

Are there things in your life that irritate you?  How long have you tolerated the catch on the door being broken or put up with someone else’s pile of ‘stuff’ gathering dust in the corner of the room?

How many times are you going to put up adhering  with traditions – just because that is the way it has always been – like the round trip to spend time with the in-laws or having the traditional ‘family’ Christmas  when inside you are screaming to have for once Christmas  on your own? Ok we all have to do things that we don’t want to and many times it is because we do things for other people’s benefit. 

I am not suggesting that we become selfish, heartless or hurt other people but here are some things in our lives that we do tolerate needlessly and how much better , calmer and happier could we be if we stopped just tolerating them and made a decisive move to either do them with good grace or stop doing them all together.

Life is just too short to go on putting up with things that irritate, depress or just drive us mad.  So go on – break free and stop tolerating the intolerable!

What stops you from changing your life?

We are all brilliant at sabotaging our own ability to change.  We just hate getting out of our comfort zone – even if that comfort zone is not particularly comfortable!

Why does it happen and how can we change it?

Well –  have a read of one of our columns written for Carlisle Living and see if it helps you start to change your life…..

 

Yeah but, No but, Yeah but, No but…

Why do we stop ourselves from doing the things we want to do?  Long before Little Britain used their “yeah but, no but” line we were talking about “yeah buts” – those words in our heads saying “yeah but… there’s no point applying for that job, I’ll never get it.”  “Yeah but… Australia’s ever such a long way…”  “yeah but… if I do buy that amazing outfit will I look good in it..?” 

A ‘yeah but’ is that doubt in your mind when you are thinking about doing something differently – from changing the way you look to changing your job, leaving your partner to  leaving the country. It nags away at you, whispering – “yeah, but are you sure you can do it?”  “Yeah, but what happens if it all goes wrong?”  “Yeah, but what will people think if I fail?” These thoughts nibble away at your self esteem and sap your confidence until eventually you convince yourself that it is all too risky, too difficult and you may walk away without doing something that would have been terrific. 

We are frequently surrounded by “yeah but” people.  Friends and family may be all too happy to talk us out of doing anything different.  You may recognise their words; “Yeah, but why would you want to do that?”  “Oh, but it’s a harsh world out there” they say.  “Will you be able to do it?”  “No, but you are better off staying where you are” and on they go…  They will have their own reasons for wanting you to stay the same… Yeah, but they may be preventing you from choosing the best path for you. 

So when you hear that little voice of doubt in your head, or you hear people doubting your ability to do something differently – whether a hairstyle or a lifestyle – listen and decide whether it’s a valid reason or a “yeah but”.   If it is a “yeah but”, recognise it for what it is, dismiss it and get on with the adventure of life!

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You don’t have to downshift to change your life!

Do you ever feel as though life is passing you by and that you might not be making the most of it? 

I think lots of us feel this and start thinking that we should give it all up and do something new and different.  But you don’t have to make huge changes to start to live differently.  You just have to think about what is really important to you , what your priorities are and then focus your life around those things.

When you do this you will find that some of the ’stuff’ that we are always busy doing becomes less important and we find that we find more time for doing those things that are important to us.

Life becomes more fun, we feel less stressed  and we feel as though we are living more.

So think about what you could do differently to change your life and make it more meaningful.  It doesn’t have to be anything huge – just start with something small.  Maybe coming home half an hour earlier one day a week and planning a nice evening or deciding to give yourself an hour at the weekend to curl up and read a book or just to have time to yourself.

Yes of course there are always lots of things to do – but start to make some time for yourself. 

Remember – you just have to change a small thing for much bigger things to start changing.  Go on – your deserve it!

Never count your chickens before they hatch!

Well another interesting year with the chickens.  Last year we had only five chicks and they all turned out to be cockrels!  This year is not turning out to be very much better.  We have had four batches of eggs with a broody hen on each.  The first one – Madame la Pomme  just hatched one chick – Puffin.

Mme La Pomme and her chick - Puffin.

The second hen – Cornflake – hatched one chick and then proceeded to trample all over it.  Georgina rescued the poor little thing and hand fed it for a few hours and then gave it back to its Mother – who proceeded to trample all over it again.  In desperation we popped it under the wing of our third hen  – Mrs Noah who was sitting and she – although somewhat surprised by having a chick appear so quickly when she had only been sitting a few days began to look after it.  The inevitable happened of course – having got a chick she waited for a couple of days and as none of the others hatched she got off them and let them go cold.  Still a bird in the hand is worth two in the egg we say!  This one is called Shirley.

Wait for me mama!

Lastly we had Precious who was sitting on six eggs.  I was so hopeful and watched her everyday – taking her off the eggs for 10 minutes and letting her wander around.  Finally the day came and the eggs started to hatch.  On the Saturday morning she had four chicks with one egg still cracking – I didn’t know where the other egg had gone.

We had a food smoking course that day so I was busy and didnt tell George as it was going to be a surprise.  Finally we would have a hen with a ’string’ of little chicks running behind her.  But Oh, when I went to see her at the end of the day three of the chicks had died and the fourth was about to die.  Only one remained – Lucky!  I was devestated and took the little chicks and buried htem in out ‘Pet garden’.  Lucky has been renamed Tatoe – due to her love of potatoes!

Precious with Tatoe in the ark.

So this year we have three hens all with one chick each!  However  I am pretty sure now that Puffin is a hen and I am so hoping that the other two will turn out to be hens as well. 

Little tatoe!

Madame La Pomme has abandoned Puffin and has gone broody again so I have been to a friends and got six eggs from her hen house.  She has Black Rocks, Wyndots and Light Sussex.  Four of the eggs are a beautiful dark chocolate colour. 

Nougat - always looking for an opportunity. "Could it be that you hiding my lunch?"

As always I have my fingers crossed.  Will keep you posted.

I am the Big daddy!

Andy of course it terribly proud of them all!

Fruit of our labour!

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Remember how hard we worked at Easter ploughing a furrow and preparing the ground for our raspberry plants?

Wild raspberries growing nearby

Well having nurtured them all summer – watering and feeding them and trying to protect them from the Shap weather (!) they are finally bearing fruit.  Not many as yet – as this is the first year.  Also they were  present from our lovely neighbour Alexand she bought us three varieties – which all bear fruit at different times of the season.  Some early and some later in the year.

 

Molly and I with our first raspberry!

Also with the raspberries we transplanted two gooseberry bushes and two blackcurrant bushes and a redcurrant bush.  These are growing well but no fruit yet.

Raspberries with leeks planted in between!

In addition we were also given a few leeks to bring on so I popped them in the ground – in between the raspberries and right at the end where I had about a square metre I planted some seed potatoes and a parsnip!!!   I am new to this and just thought I would have a little fun and see what happens.

Potatoes and parsnip doing very well – very exciting!

Hard work!

It is several years since I worked for myself running the smokehouse.  We used to get up early everyday – work quite long hours and mostly 7 days a week (farmers markets at the weekend).  Since then having downshifted a second time we still work for ourselves but  as we run courses and do lots of ‘bit’ jobs it is not regular and certainly not regular in terms of hours.  So….

This getting up early every day to drive into the city for jury service has come as a bit of a shock!  Whilst I am enjoying the ‘change’ of doing something different – and even quiet enjoying the routine – I am not at all sure that I could go back to being employed full time.

In fact Georgina made a comment the other day that we may just be unemployable!  Only in terms of  when you work for yourself for a long time  it might make it difficult to work for anyone else full time.

It is funny how precious time is – even when you have quite a lot of it.  I am used to having a really good work/life balance (actually the work/life balance is weighted towards life rather than work!). So being out of the house 9 hours a day is making me remember life before downshifting even though in those bad old days I was out of the house between 12-14 hours a day.

OK – looking at it that way – perhaps two weeks on jury service really isn’t so bad!

Here’s a thought….

We have been asked to write a  short column for Carlisle Living magazine – and I thought I would share them with you. 

When was the last time you had fun? 

Go on; think about it… if you can honestly say that you’ve had a really great time quite recently, congratulations, you are in a happy minority!  Usually, asking someone when they last really had fun brings them up short.  It suddenly can seem that life is flying by.  Sometimes we are so busy keeping up with the pace of life, change and technology, rushing around doing the chores as well as comparing the prices of electricity and sliced bread that we forget to take time out for the important things – such as having fun. 

Having fun doesn’t have to be selfish – but it can be.  Having fun doesn’t have to be active – but it can be.  Having fun doesn’t have to be play – some lucky folk have great fun at work!  When Kath Smart asked if I would be happy to write a column for this new magazine my first thought was “that sounds like a fun thing to do”. If I had thought it would be more hassle – I wouldn’t be doing it!  I know that we can’t all choose how we spend all our time.  But I also know that if we don’t actively choose to spend a bit of time on fun – the moment will be gone. 

We timetable dental appointments and we work around other people’s schedules all the time.  If you read the first question and couldn’t remember the last time you had a good laugh, timetable some fun into your life!  Promise yourself that every month or every week you will do something that you enjoy.  Book a pedicure…  watch a movie…  Sit down and finish that book you’re reading…  Catch up with that friend you keep meaning to call!  See how you can turn everyday work or chores into something a bit more fun – or make sure there is a precious moment each day to look forward to and enjoy – you deserve it!

Jury Service

When you lead a hectic life and work long hours being called for jury service can be a nightmare.  However when you downshift – something like being called for jury service is actually quite interesting because as you live life in the slow lane you have more time for these things.

Yes, it is inconvenient but I am not stressed about it.  I am not worrying about work – trying to fit work in around sitting in court.  I am actually quite enjoying the experience.  Meeting new people and doing a new thing.  Without the stress – being shut in a room all day with books to read, coffee to drink and people to chat to waiting to be called to a jury is really quite relaxing.

Getting loads of reading done!

Getting Away.

One of the great things about leading a quieter, simpler life after downshifting – is that when you do go out and do something different – it is really exciting.

We have just come back from a short break in Paris.  Fantastic – we haven’t really had a holiday for a couple of years (mostly because life at home is pretty good and when you live somewhere so wonderful why would you go away?)  But away we went….  Paris was great – but oh so expensive – 12euros for 1/2 a litre of beer – that’s £10 a pint! and the cheapest bottle of wine we saw on a menu at even the smallest of restaurants/cafes was 22 euros!  You have to be kidding!

Anyway we didn’t let that stop us – we ate lots of wonderful meals, we walked for miles and did lots, saw as much as we could.  We even got given a free ride down the Champs Elysees in a MacDonald’s rickshaw and given a free ice cream.  It was a heart stopping moment when I thought the guy was going to take us around the Arc de Triumphe in the rickshaw.  I am brave – but not that brave!

We had a great time – but as always as George says “East, West – Home is best” and she is right.  Lovely to have a break away – but also lovely to come home.  Heavens – Am I losing my sense of adventure?  Surely not!

It is just great to enjoy the simple and quiet things in life as well as all the crazy times.

Making sure our new life is fun!

One of the decisions we have made – is to not do any work that we don’t think will be fun!  So if it is going to be fun then we will have a go.  This is easy when you have undergone Personal diversification – and have a number of different income streams.

So in that vein – I was thinking about how to market Smoky Jo’s – our food smoking courses, and I decided that if we were going to spend money on marketing it would have to be on something we enjoyed.

Since owning and running the Old  Smokehouse at Brougham Hall (sadly not there anymore!) we have enjoyed doing the ‘County Shows’.  So I thought that as we hadn’t been to a show for a while we ought to take a stand and advertise Smoky Jo’s.

So that is what we did.  We went down to the Cheshire Show this week, and had a stand in the food hall. 

 

Smoky George at the Cheshire Show

We had great fun - stayed in a Travel Lodge – cheap and cheerful.  We went out for a curry on the first night- big treat! – and had a picnic on the second evening consisting of lots of lovely goodies picked up from the food hall that day.  Lovely!

We met some great people – many who booked courses with us and lots more who I hope will book with us in the future .  Lets face it – what better present to give someone who loves their food for Xmas or birthday than a Food Smoking Course with Smoky Jo’s.

So get out there and have fun – and even when it is work – make sure your new life is fun, fun, fun!